Coffee, Shopping, Murder, Love - by Carlos Allende (Hardcover)

About the Book

"Last November, I found a dead body inside the freezer that my roommate keeps inside the garage. My first thought was to call the police, but Jignesh hadn't paid his share of the rent just yet. It wasn't due until the thirtieth, and you know how difficult it is to find people who pay on time. Jignesh always does. Also, he had season tickets for the LA Opera, and well . . . Madame Butterfly. Tosca. The Flying Dutchman ... at the Dorothy Chandler ... you cannot say no to that, can you? Well, it's been a few good months now-Madame Butterfly was just superb, thank you. However, last Friday, I found a second body inside that stupid freezer in the garage. This time I'm evicting Jignesh. My house isn't a mortuary ... alas, I need to come up with some money first. You'll understand, therefore, that I desperately need to sell this novel. Just enough copies to help me survive until I find a job ... what could I do that doesn't demand too much effort? We have a real treasure here, anyhow. Some chapters are almost but not quite pornographic. You could safely lend this to nana afterward!"--

Book Synopsis

A campy dark comedy for the angry and the disenchanted.

Last November, I found a dead body inside the freezer that my roommate keeps inside the garage. My first thought was to call the police, but Jignesh hadn't paid his share of the rent just yet. It wasn't due until the thirtieth, and you know how difficult it is to find people who pay on time. Jignesh always does. Also, he had season tickets for the LA Opera, and well . . . Madame Butterfly. Tosca. The Flying Dutchman . . . at the Dorothy Chandler . . . you cannot say no to that, can you? Well, it's been a few good months now--Madame Butterfly was just superb, thank you. However, last Friday, I found a second body inside that stupid freezer in the garage. This time I'm evicting Jignesh. My house isn't a mortuary . . . alas, I need to come up with some money first. You'll understand, therefore, that I desperately need to sell this novel. Just enough copies to help me survive until I find a job . . . what could I do that doesn't demand too much effort? We have a real treasure here, anyhow. Some chapters are almost but not quite pornographic. You could safely lend this to nana afterward!

Review Quotes

"The most irredeemable and meticulously fashioned ne'er-do-wells I've ever rooted for. Murder in LA has never been such lurid, frothy fun." --Dave Caplan, Executive Producer of The Conners

"Fresh, highly original, and whiplash funny, Allende serves up a story in a voice like no other I've ever read. It's often profane but by equal turns poignant--and I found myself laughing out loud from the start." --Susan Jane Gilman, author of Donna Has Left the Building

"The unapologetically wicked characters of Carlos Allende's darkly comedic novel are beyond salvation, no matter the legal (or emotional) crimes they're committing. But that's the fun for us. Allende's masterful comedy of errors comes out hot and reaches a frenetic pace by the climax of Jignesh's and Charlie's hijinks--but all's well that ends well, even if it didn't end well for those who crossed their paths. Funny, shocking, and depraved, this novel warns us about what happens when our darkest impulses drag themselves into the light." --Charles Jensen, author of Nanopedia

"Charlie's penchant for digressive cinematic deep cuts is endearing." --Kirkus Reviews

"It's a murder mystery, it's a crime drama, it's all kinds of things wrapped up in this wonderful comedic novel. Yet, there's pathos; there's is something poignant in the story. . . .Funny and fascinating at the same time, there's a poignant aspect to both of these characters."--Norman B from Life Elsewhere

"There's humor, there's sadness, and there's this poignant undercurrent of recognition. . . .Both characters are flawed and yet we root for them!" "It's [full of] teeny tiny little jokes that were awesome." --Shelagh Connor Shapiro from Write the Book: Conversations on Craft

"A very good read. Very excited for people to read it!" --Joey Held from Good People, Cool Things

"Carlos Allende has written a very strange and complex story of murder, mayhem, and maybe a little madness, filled with wacky characters, lots of dark humor, and some pretty unbelievable situations." -- Rosi Hollinbeck from Seattle Book Review

"Coffee, Shopping, Murder, Love is a delightful beach read, a lampoon of American culture that provides plenty of suspenseful fun." -- Sarah Osman from the arts fuse

"It's a very funny tale of an unlikely and unusual relationship between two gay men and murder." -- Alternative Perspectives

"Allende's take on the mystery novel is a darkly humorous one, and that's a good thing." -- Edge Media Network's Summer Books Roundup

"It's been a long time since I've read a book as unabashedly fun as Coffee, Shopping, Murder, Love, and I think it'll be a while before I read another book that so deftly marries whimsy with wrongdoing, that makes me laugh out loud while cringing at the same time." -- Genevieve Hartman from Independent Book Review