How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind - by Todd Baratz (Hardcover)

About the Book

"Whether you're on the apps or have already walked down the aisle, you are probably struggling to feel authentically connected. It's not just you; modern love is a mess. We've all heard the advice: You deserve to be loved unconditionally! People pleasing is bad! Your ex is a toxic narcissist! Love yourself first before you try to love someone else! But psychotherapist and sex therapist behind the popular YourDiagnonsense accounts Todd Baratz is here to share the hard truth: These rules are merely defense mechanisms that will sabotage your ability to form deep connections with real people. Adult relationships are not a fairytale; they're fundamentally insecure and full of risk. Unconditional love doesn't exist between adult partners-you need to do your part in order to deserve your partner's love. Your ideal relationship won't be manifested, but it can be created through skills like communication, curiosity, trust, and forgiveness. With wit, warmth, and wisdom, Baratz examines what our culture gets wrong about love, flips the rules that we've been taught, and offers a new way of relating to help you find your way to more fulfilling relationships, whether you're single or committed. Forget the fairytale fantasies that are keeping you stuck; trade them in for realism, accountability, and skills so that you can create satisfying, good enough relationships. Get real with your partner, get dirty, make mistakes, and ultimately grow together. With examples from his own life as a gay man-from childhood traumas, a ten-year relationship, and his current experience with dating app culture-along with case studies from his work as a sex and relationship therapist, Baratz adds the needed nuance to what we seek most: love"--

Book Synopsis

A sanity-saving guide that cuts through the sky-high expectations of modern love and helps you build healthier and more fulfilling relationships, from the creator of viral Instagram account YourDiagnonsense

"Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest."--Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us

You're not crazy. You're human.

Modern love is a mess and life is (spoiler alert!) very hard. Whether you're in a committed relationship or on the apps, buckle up, there's a lot to unlearn.

How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind is your guide to sanity in a culture gone mad. Psychotherapist and sex therapist Todd Baratz blends sharp humor with raw insight as he challenges us to break every rule about love. It's time to move beyond the relentless pursuit of the perfect partner, to challenge the stigma against neediness, and to rethink our obsession with diagnosing common challenges as disorders.

Instead, he offers an empowering new perspective: Embrace challenges, feel deeply, make mistakes, learn, and grow. Drawing from his extensive experience as both a therapist and a patient, Baratz shares stories of navigating his personal traumas and guiding others through theirs.

This book is an invitation to understand your life as part of a larger cultural narrative. It encourages you to delve into your history, cultivate self-awareness, and take responsibility in your relationships. By doing so, you can move beyond the fairy tale and transform your approach to love.

Review Quotes

"Todd Baratz will help you love and live sanely. This smart, surprising, and compassionate book is for anyone who ever fell for someone, felt hurt, wondered why, and longed for a better way."--Wednesday Martin, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue

"Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest . . . Baratz's insights liberate us from the ubiquitous nonsense about relationships that only make us feel worse about ourselves. You might just walk away with a changed life."--Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us

"Embark on a journey of self-discovery with Baratz's insightful exploration of love. In this accessible book, he skillfully demystifies the intricacies of fostering a relationship with oneself while navigating the challenges of being in love. It is a must-read for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of relationships and personal well-being."--Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW, therapist, New York Times bestselling author of Drama Free

"As a psychotherapist, Todd Baratz distinguishes himself as a triple threat: keenly observant, deeply empathic, and remarkably wise. His debut book is all that and more: personal, authentic, and laugh-out-loud funny--an essential read, regardless of your gender or orientation, whether you're in a relationship or looking for one."--Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First

"The anti-self-help book you didn't know you needed . . . It brings a refreshing twist to the genre that's both engaging and genuinely funny. Whether you're single, tangled in the 'it's complicated' web, or simply mulling over your love life, this is the reality check you've been waiting for."--Jeff Guenther, LPC, creator of TherapyJeff

"If you are looking for a roadmap to aid in navigating the complexities of love today and cultivating clarity, understanding, and connection in your relationship to yourself and others, this book is for you."--Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty at Northwestern University, bestselling author of Love Every Day, and host of the podcast, Reimagining Love

"Todd Baratz writes the truth about relationship dynamics that we all need to hear. Finally a therapist who tells it like it is and cuts through all the pop psychology dogma that's permeating the internet. This is a must read for everyone."--Jillian Turecki

"With wisdom, empathy and humor, Todd Baratz will help you uplevel your relationships, by first understanding the relationship with yourself. If you're ready to ditch the patterns that no longer serve you so you can have the sex life and relationships you desire, How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind is the book you've been waiting for."--Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast, doctor of human sexuality and author of Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

About the Author

Todd Baratz is a renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist whose innovative approach to mental health and relationships has established him as a leading figure in his field. In addition to his clinical practice, Baratz is a prolific writer and speaker. His insights are regularly featured in various media outlets, where he discusses topics ranging from romantic relationships to individual mental wellness. He lives in New York City and Los Angeles.