How to Say Goodbye - by Wendy Macnaughton (Hardcover)

About the Book

A USA TODAY Bestseller
An NPR "Book We Love"

New York Times-bestselling artist Wendy MacNaughton shares wisdom from hospice caregivers: how to be, when to help, what to say--with full-color drawings throughout.

Book Synopsis

A USA TODAY Bestseller
An NPR "Book We Love"
A finalist for the California Book Award

"A poem to mortality and the beauty of how we can cope with it." -Atul Gawande, author of Being Mortal

New York Times-bestselling artist Wendy MacNaughton shares wisdom from hospice caregivers: how to be, when to help, what to say-with full-color drawings throughout.

As artist-in-residence at the Zen Hospice Project Guest House in San Francisco, Wendy MacNaughton witnessed firsthand how difficult it is to know what to do when we're sharing final moments with a loved one. In this tenderly illustrated guide to saying goodbye, MacNaughton shows how to make sure those moments are meaningful. Using a framework of "the five things" taught to her by a professional caregiver, How to Say Goodbye provides a model for having conversations of love, respect, and closure: with the words "I forgive you," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," "I love you," and "Goodbye," each oriented toward finding mutual peace and understanding when it matters most.

With a foreword by renowned physician and author BJ Miller, and practical resources, How to Say Goodbye features MacNaughton's drawn-from-life artwork from both the Zen Hospice Project Guest House and her own aunt's bedside as she died, paired with gentle advice from hospice caregivers on creating a positive sensory experience, acknowledging what you can't control, and sharing memories and gratitude. A poignant guide to embracing the present and deepening relationships during great vulnerability, How to Say Goodbye shows that just as there is no one right way to live a good life, there is no one right way to say goodbye. Whether we're confused, scared, or uncertain, this book is a starting point.

Review Quotes

"Tenderly illustrated... [MacNaughton] distills hours of sitting, being there and waiting into a beautiful reminder that death is a part of living and that we can learn from it. "Follow their lead." "Just be there." "Cry. A lot." This "how-to" guide about dying reminds the living to embrace the present and deepen our relationships." --NPR, "Books We Love"

"Stunningly touching." --Steven Levitt, Freakonomics Radio

"Quietly powerful ... Wendy MacNaughton's gentle drawings are followed by a deep well of resources for the dying and those who love and care for them." --Bookpage, starred review

"A tender illustrated field guide to being present ... The book's beating heart is an invitation to grow comfortable with change, with uncertainty, with vulnerability." --Maria Popova, The Marginalian

"Words are spare, poignant, and practical: 'If you don't know what to say, start by saying that. That's very vulnerable.' An introduction from a hospice physician and a list of resources round this out as a perfect library book: one that everyone could use, one time or another." --Booklist

"There are many kinds of grace in this little book . . . [there is an] underlying kindness that runs throughout." --Rebecca Solnit, author of HOPE IN THE DARK

"Accessible, profound, moving, and beautiful. A unique and much-needed addition to the literature about death and dying." --Louise Aronson, MD, author of ELDERHOOD

"Like singing bowls whose sounds reverberate through us, MacNaughton's drawings resonate emotional tones of the tender moments she deftly portrays." --Ira Byock, MD, author of DYING WELL

"With keen eyes, a skillful hand, and a warm heart, MacNaughton has created a teaching manual on how to say goodbye . . . a gift to all of us as we face death in its many forms." --Mary Pipher, author of WOMEN ROWING NORTH

"This beautiful little book is luminous and dark, heavy and light, heartbreaking and glorious. It's a gift to see the world through Wendy MacNaughton's eyes." --Lucy Kalanithi, MD, Clinical Associate Professor, Stanford University School of Medicine

"A modern legend in the field of American illustration...[her] illustrations skitter across the page with delicate intensity, like fresh fuzzy roots meeting soil." --Saveur

"We've been enamored of artist-graphic journalist Wendy MacNaughton's breezy-yet-hyper-perceptive sketches, humanizing portraits, and urban tableaus for years now... the SF resident [is] something like our illustrator laureate." --San Francisco Bay Guardian

"[MacNaughton is] like a modern-day Margaret Mead armed with ink and watercolor, not a critic or commentator but an observer and amplifier of voice." --BrainPickings

About the Author

Wendy MacNaughton is a New York Times-bestselling artist, illustrator, and graphic journalist with a degree in social work who combines these practices to tell the stories of people who are often overlooked. She has illustrated and/or authored eleven books, including Salt Fat Acid Heat, The Gutsy Girl, and Meanwhile in San Francisco: The City in Its Own Words. Her visual storytelling series Meanwhile was the New York Times's first weekly drawn journalism column. The creator of DrawTogether and co-founder of Women Who Draw, she lives in the Bay Area.
Instagram/Twitter/YouTube @wendymac / wendymacnaughton.com