I'm Perfect, You're Doomed I'm Perfect, You're Doomed - by Kyria Abrahams (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, Kyria Abrahams's childhood was haunted by the knowledge that her neighbors and schoolmates were doomed to die in an imminent fiery catastrophe; that Smurfs were evil; that just about anything you could buy at a yard sale was infested by demons; and that Ouija boards--even if they were manufactured by Parker Brothers--were portals to hell. .

When Kyria turned eighteen, she found herself married to a man she didn't love, with adultery her only way out. "Disfellowshipped" and exiled from the only world she'd ever known, Kyria realized that the only people who could save her were the very sinners she had prayed would be smitten by God's wrath. Written with scorching wit and deep compassion, I'm Perfect, You're Doomed manages to be hilarious about the ironic absurdity of growing up believing that nothing matters because everything's about to be destroyed..

Review Quotes

"A natural writer whose prose flows effortlessly as she easily mixes throwaway humor and painful memories in a compelling narrative." -- Booklist

"Abrahams provides readers with a profound anecdotal look of growing up as a Jehovah Witness" -- Harriet Klausner, Genre Go Round

"Amazingly vivid and profoundly compelling. Twisted, touching, absurd, hilarious, and honest. A new kind of memoir." -- Wendy Spero, author of Microthrills

"Hilarious, raw, and touching...Abrahams emerged to write about her experience in an honest, funny, and somehow relatable way." -- The Comedians

"Kyria Abrahams can do the 'coming-of-age in a sea of eternal hellfire' story like nobody else. Her tale of an adolescence in the ranks of the Jehovah's Witnesses is irresistible, thanks to her hilarious, sweet, and knowing narrator." -- Bob Powers, author of Happy Cruelty Day!

"Kyria Abrahams, former teen bride of a doomsday cult and seeker of salvation in slam poetry, tells the terribly funny story of her improbable life with candor, wit, and an unsparing eye for the perfect detail. Brilliant." -- Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir

"Miraculous...hilarious....Simultaneously affectionate and aware, Kyria recounts a childhood and young womanhood that at once seems completely universal and breathtakingly bizarre." -- Adam Felber, author of Schrödinger's Ball and panelist on NPR's "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!"

"The funniest book I've ever read by a disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witness from Pawtucket. Very funny. Very, very funny. Very, very, very funny." -- Janeane Garofalo

"This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy." -- Publishers Weekly

"Undoubtedly the cleverest lapsed Jehovah's Witness yet, Abrahams offers a graphic, mordant, wickedly distaff take on her life." -- Kirkus

About the Author

Kyria Abrahams was a regular columnist for Jest Magazine for several years, where she was featured alongside performers and writers from The Daily Show and Chappelle's Show. As a standup comic, Comedy Central twice selected her as one of ten semi-finalists for the Boston Laugh Riots Competition. She has also been a repeat performer at alternative comedy shows like "Eating It" and "Invite them Up," as well as literary readings like "How to Kick People"--each of them places where the likes of Jon Stewart, Janeane Garafalo, Patton Oswalt, Fred Armisen, and David Cross have appeared. Raised in Providence, Rhode Island she now lives in Queens, New York.