Mom Rage - by Minna Dubin (Hardcover)

About the Book

"Mothers aren't supposed to be angry. Still, Minna Dubin was an angry mom: exhausted by hard, thankless full-time parenting work and feeling her career slip away from her, she would find herself screaming at her child or exploding in anger at her husband. Despite the pressure she felt to suffer in silence, Minna chose to talk publicly about her experiences, kicking off an international conversation about a rage that, it turns out, nearly every mother has experienced. Mom Rage is Dubin's groundbreaking work of reportage on the national crisis of mother rage - what it is, where it comes from, and how we can all learn to work through it. As Dubin reveals, mom rage is a global phenomenon, but it's particularly acute in the United States, where mothers are expected to manage physical care, education, and emotional support for their children; household and administrative labor for their families; and their own careers, all with little to no institutional support. Adding insult to injury, mothers' struggles go largely unacknowledged and unvalidated, making them feel like their rage is a personal failure caused by being a "bad mom." This sense of guilt is only exacerbated by the intense public scrutiny that mothers (especially poor mothers and mothers of color) are subject to. Dubin assures these readers that they're not alone. She shares her personal story of understanding and eventually overcoming her rage, and includes interviews from women experiencing mom rage across the spectrum of race, gender, sexual orientation, and class. She then breaks down the research on rage, emotional intelligence, anger management, and motherhood to give women accessible tools to alleviate their burden and issue a call for broader social reforms. Mom Rage is a no-holds-barred excavation of the national crisis of mother rage and a call for women to let go of their internalized shame and guilt, resist the patriarchy, and reclaim their lives"--

Book Synopsis

A frank, feminist examination of the hidden crisis of rage facing American mothers--and how we can fix it

Mothers aren't supposed to be angry. Still, Minna Dubin was an angry mom: exhausted by the grueling, thankless work of full-time parenting and feeling her career slip away, she would find herself screaming at her child or exploding at her husband.

When Dubin pushed past her shame and talked with other mothers about how she was feeling, she realized that she was far from alone. Mom Rage is Dubin's groundbreaking work of reportage about an unspoken crisis of anger sweeping the country--and the world. She finds that while a specific instance of rage might be triggered by something as simple as a child who won't tie her shoes, the roots of the anger go far deeper, from the unequal burden of childcare shouldered by moms to the flattening of women's identities once they have kids. Drawing on insights from moms across the spectrum of race, sexual orientation, and class, she offers practical tools to help readers disarm their rage in the moment, while never losing sight of the broader social change we need to stop raging for good.

Review Quotes

"With an appendix of concrete tools . . . Mom Rage provides much-needed advice, company, and consolation. It also offers a timely reminder that we might use our voices for more than bedtime stories."--Tanya Ward Goodman, Los Angeles Review of Books

"a searing indictment of the failed systems of support and flawed narratives that too often surround parenthood... bound to resonate with any woman who has experienced the shift to motherhood as anything less than perfect."--Shelf Awareness

"Mom Rage is a critical addition to the literature of mothering, compassionately exploring the ugly, rageful moments that haunt many of us even as we struggle to do right by our kids. Dubin invites us to consider our rage in the full context of a perverse, broken, contradictory, and cruel American system that fails families at every turn. I needed the compassion of this book, as well as its expansive look of what parenting can and should be."

--Lydia Kiesling, author of The Golden State

"Breaking down the unnamable feelings so many women have as mothers, Mom Rage is a must-read for women who struggle to reconcile the cultural pressure to be 'good mothers' with the powerful negative emotions that come with parenting."--Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her

"an original, eye-opening look at the rage that can consume mothers... This book represents a voice that belongs in every parenting collection."--Booklist

"Few issues are left untouched in this thought-provoking book on a hot topic that is seldom discussed."--Library Journal

"Mom Rage does an expert job weaving data and research to explain why moms are in crisis while also giving us thoughtful individual and systemic solutions."--Eve Rodsky, author of Find Your Unicorn Space

"Mom Ragemakes crucial space for all of us who have experienced the sudden, terrifying urge to stab a mattress with a kitchen knife, punch a wall, or squeeze our children a little too tightly. Dubin reminds us our darkest moments are symptoms of systemic failings, not signs of personal flaws--and that our anger should be harnessed as an animating force for equity."
--Angela Garbes, author of Essential Labor

"If you've ever screamed at your child in ways that shock you -- and we all have, haven't we? -- Mom Rage is an absolute must-read. As Minna Dubin argues, your anger is not a moral failing. This book is an eye-opening exploration of the many social forces that drive mothers to explode at their children, as well as the societal and situational solutions that could, ultimately, save us."

--Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

"The author's candid appraisal of her own rage . . . and her penetrating insights make for captivating reading. It's an astute account of how society fails mothers." --Publishers Weekly

"A cleareyed analysis of the intricate web of cultural and political challenges that make female-identified parenting nearly impossible . . . the author writes with humor, vulnerability, and a level of expertise that shape her narrative into a nuanced and convincing argument for justice."

--Kirkus

About the Author

Minna Dubin (she/her) is a writer and mother in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Salon, Parents, the Philadelphia Inquirer, Romper, The Forward, Hobart, MUTHA Magazine, and Literary Mama. She is the recipient of an artist enrichment grant from the Kentucky Foundation for Women. As a leading feminist voice on mom rage, Minna has appeared on MSNBC, Good Morning America, The Tamron Hall Show, NBC10 Boston, and NPR.