The Flourishing Family - by David Erickson & Amanda Erickson (Paperback)

David and Amanda do a great job connecting science and child development with biblical parenting principals that are filled with grace and discipling kids, rather than using fear based parenting tactics. This book is a refreshing and challenging one on the parenting journey. It is definitely worth the dive into seeing how you can change the dynamics of your parenting, your home, and your family.

As my oldest became a toddler, I soon saw that what “worked” with me for my mom would not work for me with my child. Her responses to my correction were nearly the opposite of how I reacted at her age. The ways and methods I knew to assert and maintain authority seemed to only escalate conflict, and when I considered the fruit and trajectory of things, I could not see how I would keep her “in line” without finding myself moving toward possible abuse. Being sensitive to the spiritual battle involved in breaking generational patterns, that was not a risk I wanted to take. I needed wisdom and tools!! I knew I did not want to be at odds with my child all day, every day, just hoping that one day, after 18 years, she might then understand all I’d done was for her good and she’d come around and we could finally enjoy our relationship. Thankfully, a friend with children older than mine expressed that she and her husband had felt led to pursue “positive parenting.” I was surprised. I had always assumed (though I don’t know where I picked this up) that whatever that type of parenting was, it produced spoiled, disrespectful brats and parents who dislike their kids. But as I watched this family, I saw that they embodied much of what I wanted for my own. So I started to explore and pray, and compare what I learned with scripture. I began to think deeply about what my goals really were as a mother, and how to accomplish them without getting stuck in cycles that feed an adversarial dynamic. I thought about the fatherly way God has led me— with great patience and gentleness, and how the mandate of scripture to impress the word of God on our children implies that our relationship with them is the primary way God intends our faith to be passed on. Keeping that bond healthy is of even greater importance than my or my child’s feelings. When I realized my goal was to cultivate a character marked by the fruit of the Spirit, to lead by example and build trust, I knew I needed to learn more than the reactions that came by default. The Ericksons have provided an excellent resource that is more thoughtful, balanced and accessible than a lot of what is out there— I dare say, maybe even most of it. The perspective and mindset shifts they teach are priceless and will empower countless families to break generational patterns of broken parent-child relationships. In The Flourishing Family, the Ericksons address child development, neuroscience AND sin— in both children and parents, and unpack many passages of scripture that come up when we examine parenting, discipline and discipleship. Some voices in the world of parenting seem to avoid or ignore foundational doctrine that most Christians are trying to apply as parents. Others give advice that seems to contradict many biblical truths about the character of God as a father, and the Savior who we are to imitate. Many people have heard teaching that was either misguided, unrealistic and perfectionistic, or simply ineffective for their own family despite being seen as traditional. I believe many Christian parents have been curious about learning more tools for correcting their children in a life-giving and trust-building way, but have been suspicious and apprehensive because of negative things they heard about “gentle parenting ideology”. If you are one of those, I really hope you’ll read this book. I believe it will address your concerns thoroughly and help you choose a parenting approach that is fully informed and led by Spirit and Truth, to the glory of God! In The Flourishing Family, you will find an invaluable treasure of wisdom, encouragement and exhortation. I’d love to give a copy to every parent I know!!!

In a paradigm where we are constantly told that "gentle is permissive" and biblical Christian parenting means punitive discipline and immediate, unquestioning obedience, Dr. David and Amanda Erikson's wonderful book is a breath of fresh air that proves the contrary. The Flourishing Family is a perfect marriage of scripture AND up-to-date neuro-science, positing that Christian parents don't have to choose one or the other. We can be connected to our children, steward their hearts, be gentle and loving, meet their developmental needs and STILL be following God's will for parenting. All caregivers of children NEED to read this book. It is eye-opening, equipping, and life-changing.

This is the parenting book I've longed for! The authors carefully examine biblical passages that were so illuminating for me. The neuroscience and childhood development help me understand where my kids are coming from. The authors' own stories were raw and relatable. The practical advice sprinkled throughout and in the Quick Reference Guide gave me some realistic tools to use to help keep me regulated so I can disciple my little ones. Usually parenting books are JUST theology or JUST tools or JUST childhood development. I appreciate how The Flourishing Family has all in one.

I was so excited to read this book. Our girls are 5 and 3 and adopted. I’ve spent the last couple years looking for a “better way” to deal with discipline and behaviors that come up. More than anything I want my actions to reflect the love of Jesus, disciple my children, and lead them to a trusting relationship with Jesus. I have felt the deep divide of modern gentle parenting and the authoritarian Christian views and have worked to bridge the gaps in my own understanding. This resource does it so intentionally and with such care and concern for the souls of the image-bearers at steak. The authors not only give great background and foundation, but also provide concrete applications. They take the Word of God and apply it to parenting while backing it up with modern neuroscience (which God created!). If you want to change your family dynamic, improve your relationships with your children, and learn how to walk your kids towards Jesus, you won’t be disappointed in this book.

It's been hard (actually impossible until this book) to find a Christian parenting book that looks at the deep spiritual side of parenting, with up to date information that we know about the brain in the world of neuroscience PLUS practical tips! This is a gold mine that can't be missed and I hope it reaches audiences far and wide! There is such a frustrating disconnect between how our western society and western church tells us to parent and how the Bible ACTUALLY instructs parents to live life with their children, especially when you consider the life of Jesus and his example. This book makes that connection, while also remaining down to earth and pointing everything back to Jesus. We can't live life or parent the way we should if we are not abiding in Christ! This book isn't just for "gentle" Christan parents (although if you're like me, that's how you found David and Amanda's content) but for anyone who professes to follow Christ and wants to dig deep into scripture with an easy to read, soul-nourishing, and encouraging book. Can't recommend this one enough!

A true stand-out in Christian parenting books. David and Amanda demonstrate a Jesus-centered, evidence-based approach to raising our children in a grace-filled atmosphere that respects their development AND their personhood as image-bearers of Christ. As an early childhood education professional, I know I'll be pointing Christian families to this book as a resource to not only enrich their parenting, but to bring true PEACE to their homes. And for my own family, I'll be coming back to this book for wisdom again and again as my kids grow.

This book is the parenting book I've wanted for so many years. Beautifully weaving in stories for illustration and inspiration, Biblical knowledge, and appropriate use of our current understanding of neuroscience, David and Amanda Erickson have provided a stunning resource for parents aiming to break generational cycles of reactive and triggered parenting and raise kids in the ethic of Jesus. I have already gifted this book to several friends and see it being a frequent resource as I raise my own kids.

Just finished and one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read! One of the things I appreciate the most is each chapter has suggestions of how to practically do these things. Also every chapter seems to be exactly the things my family wants to change and do better. I love the scripture references along with the science that backs child development.

I tend to be pretty wary of Christian books because I don't think they rise to the standard I believe they ought to be held to--they are often either full of happy-feel-good fluff OR they cherry pick a handful of verses out of context to fit the point the author wanted to make without Scripture. This book is neither of those things and that made me very happy. Scripture is used in every chapter (in context!) along with beneficial information about Jewish history/tradition that would impact how the original audience would read the text. This is often paired with cited studies on child brain-development. This, combined with the authors' personal touches, makes for an encouraging read for parents that also has substantial food for thought and practical application. I even believe it has plenty of resources inside that those who do not follow "peacemaker parenting" can also stand behind and benefit from. (In fact, I have already recommended it to fellow parents who follow different parenting methods.)

Over the last few years, I’ve listened to many conversation between parents about struggles with kids regarding how to discipline biblically. This book provides practical biblical guidance and tools that speak directly to those conversations and struggles. It’s amazing how neuroscience is catching up with the Bible and The Flourishing Family puts it into layman terms -no theology degree or PHD needed. I’m so thankful that I have this book for this season of life and to help shape the seasons to come as the parent God calls me to be. A must read for every Christian parent and grandparent.

I was raised in a dysfunctional household and desperately want to leave my children a different legacy. I’ve been struggling along for seven years with plenty of ups and downs. and am so very glad to have found this book! It is so practical and encouraging. I’m already seeing a difference in how I’m able to respond to my children in situations that are triggering to me and look forward to continuing to practice peaceful parenting with the biblically based training I’m receiving from this wonderful book.

After reading scores of parenting books over the last 13 years, this is the best by far! Having learned so much from the Erickson's online presence, it was a no-brainer to get this book as a gospel-centered parent. And after listening to a pre-launch audio version I'm shouting it from the rooftops--get this book!!! The authors build a solid foundation in part 1 directly from Jesus' example for what biblical parenting looks like without throwing guilt and shame for how you may have parented in the past. They give hope after hope with statements like: "When you become the person Jesus made you to be, you become the parent your child needs." and "My identity is in Christ, not in how my child behaves." This sets the tone for the rest of the book which is practical but not not prescriptive--encouraging you to use your critical thinking, God-given skillsets and prayerful faith. It's the exact approach they teach you to use with your kids! The chapter on the use of the "rod" in scripture is well presented and the exact direct words that Christian parents need right now. I can't wait to read their next book--hopefully with more on cultivating Christ followers as children grow into teens. In the meantime, I'm buying this book as a gift for every new and seasoned parent I know.

After years of sharing their wealth of knowledge online, Dr. David and Amanda Erickson have compiled their thoughts, research and resources into this practical novel, The Flourishing Family. The Ericksons examine what the Bible actually teaches about parenting and discipline with a focus on shifting away from punitive parenting. Through a mix of stories, scripture and scientific data, readers are provided with an understanding of how God has designed childhood and given spiritual applications for parents to use to better guide, disciple, equip, and love the children they care for. Whether you are a brand new parent, or in the teen years, a foster parent or grandparent, The Flourishing Family is a much needed counter cultural message that will impact our children and the future of parenting.