Validation - by Caroline Fleck (Hardcover)

About the Book

"Achieve meaningful change with DBT skills The validation skills from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) revolutionized psychology by balancing the emphasis on changing behavior with a corresponding emphasis on acceptance. Now a prominent psychologist brings these validation skills out of therapy and into everyday life to help anyone decrease conflict, strengthen relationships, and change behaviors-in themselves and in others. As both a means and an end, validation has profound effects: it affirms a person's experience and unlocks their potential for growth. Dr. Caroline Fleck explains how and why validation is a catalyst for transformation, while taking us step-by-step through eight skills we can use to communicate it. With practice, these skills become a way of life, helping us to focus on the possibilities that unfold when we see ourselves and others for who we really are"--

Book Synopsis

Unlock the secret to true and lasting change.

We all spend a lot of energy trying to get the people in our lives to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance?

Enter validation -- communication that one is mindful, understands, and empathizes with another person's experience, thereby accepting it as valid. As both a means and an end, validation has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing our ability to generate self-compassion and help people change their behavior. In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Caroline Fleck explains why validation is one of psychotherapy's best-kept secrets while taking us step-by-step through eight skills we can use to communicate it.

Full of "aha" moments and powerful takeaways, Validation reveals how the science of seeing and being seen is the key to inner and interpersonal transformation.

Review Quotes

"As an engineer, I appreciate when complex human dynamics can be broken down into practical, actionable steps. Dr. Fleck has done exactly that with validation--a skill that, when mastered, becomes nothing short of a superpower. It's like gaining access to a cheat code for human interaction--one that actually works. Whether you've got more of an engineering mindset that appreciates clear frameworks or are simply looking to improve your relationships, Validation delivers results while keeping you thoroughly entertained along the way."
--Mark Rober, founder of CrunchLabs

"Dr. Caroline Fleck reminds us that being present, listening, suspending judgment, and really hearing someone is the greatest gift we can give or receive. There is such magic in validation, and Dr. Fleck shines a light on something that can enliven our sense of possibility and self."
--Dr. Ramani Durvasula, New York Times bestselling author of It's Not You

"Profound, important, compassionate, Validation took my breath away. I can't remember the last time I read a book as beautifully crafted and immediately useful. Author Caroline Fleck shares research-backed wisdom that can help you transform the most important relationships in your life--at work and at home."
--Amy C. Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership, Harvard Business School, and author of Right Kind of Wrong

"Validation is a vital skill for fostering real connections and inner resilience. For the first time, we have a clear and practical self-help guide for bringing this often underdeveloped skill into your everyday life. By fostering mindfulness, understanding, and empathy this book will benefit anyone seeking to build more compassionate relationships--starting with oneself. Highly recommended."
--Steven C. Hayes, originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

"Offering validation is a simple intention that can be frustratingly hard to do well--even after being a psychotherapist for more than twenty years. Caroline Fleck powerfully translates this core concept into a specific set of skills that you can start to apply immediately."
--Seth Gillihan, author of Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

"Caroline Fleck's Validation is a masterclass in empathy and connection. Her blend of personal anecdotes and practical advice offers readers a roadmap to transforming their relationships and emotional well-being."
--Sue Varma, author of Practical Optimism

"Caroline has done an incredible job of researching and extending my mom's work on validation. Her brilliant new model provides a well-resourced, practical, and much-needed guide to help anyone excel at the art of validation."
--Geraldine Rodriguez, daughter of Dr. Marsha Linehan, developer of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

About the Author

Caroline Fleck, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, an adjunct clinical instructor at Stanford University, and a business consultant. She received her doctorate in psychology and neuroscience from Duke University and holds a BA in English and psychology from the University of Michigan. She is an expert in evidence-based treatments for individuals, couples, and parents, including DBT and cognitive behavioral therapy. She is renowned for her ability to help people make critical but challenging changes and is one of Silicon Valley's most sought-after psychotherapists.