What My Father and I Don't Talk about - (What We Don't Talk about) by Michele Filgate (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

A follow-up to the wildly successful What My Mother and I Don't Talk About, this collection of essays from sixteen notable writers breaks the silence on the complex--and sometimes contentious--relationships we have with our fathers.

What My Mother and I Don't Talk About has become a rare gem in the literary world. Both a viral sensation online and chosen by Oprah Daily as one of the best nonfiction books of the past two decades, it is an essential collection that dives into the personal and poignant topics we often struggle to discuss with those who are meant to know and love us best.

This captivating follow-up, edited by Michele Filgate, tackles the intricate and challenging relationships we have with our dads, breaking the silence around these vital connections. Andrew Altschul reflects on the life-altering experience of becoming a father and how it reshaped his view of his own dad's parenting. Isle McElroy shares memories of weekends spent tagging along as their father fixed up the homes of their wealthier neighbors. Jaquira Díaz delves into her father's history in 1970s Williamsburg, uncovering the roots of their shared restlessness. Tomás Q. Morín paints a raw portrait of an absentee father, while Kelly McMasters portrays a loving and dedicated one. Maurice Carlos Ruffin insightfully captures a father who communicated through his integrity rather than words. Jiordan Castle reveals how we can love our fathers from a distance and Susan Muaddi Darraj explores the particular challenges of "eldest daughter syndrome" as a daughter of Palestinian immigrants.

With moments that are both humorous and deeply moving, this anthology is the second act that many have been eagerly waiting for.

Contributions by Michele Filgate, Andrew Altschul, Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, Maurice Carlos Ruffin, Dylan Landis, Jaquira Díaz, Kelly McMasters, Isle McElroy, Susan Muaddi Darraj, Tomás Q. Morín, Robin Reif, Heather Sellers, Jiordan Castle, Nayomi Munaweera, Joanna Rakoff, and Julie Buntin.

Review Quotes

"This stunning collection gathers so many kinds of fathers; fathers selling cars, cutting hair, peeling apples, salting slugs, wearing dresses, arriving too late, fathers who were violent in their primes, cowed by end of life. I noted a few showing up to games under complicated circumstances, two who'd given up painting, and one surprising daddy. These essays are hilarious, comforting, confounding and devastating. If fathers point out the world to their kids, this book of kids points back in remarkable, beautiful ways."
--Marie-Helene Bertino, author of Beautyland

"In her poignant contribution to this collection, Susan Muaddi Darraj writes: "I get to see the layers of my father, all his various modes." The entirety of What My Father And I Don't Talk About gave me a similar sensation. The moving, varied essays assembled here showed me fathers in all their complexity and scope--sometimes loving, sometimes withholding, assertively present and achingly distant. This brilliant book is a vital addition to the literature of fathers and their children, and to our understanding of the tender and fraught relationships between them."
--Rosie Schaap, author of The Slow Road North

"Moving and deeply relatable, this collection explores the many faces of fathers, from the loving and the humorous to the absent and the terrifying. Each essay invites us into a different world and a different childhood, yet finds unexpected throughlines of tenderness and vulnerability. What My Father and I Don't Talk About will have readers seeing in powerful new light the relationship that has shaped their lives and sense of self." --Qian Julie Wang, New York Times bestselling author of Beautiful Country

"With tenderness and aplomb in equal measure, these essays plumb the depths of paternal relations." --Kirkus, starred review

"Spellbinding...These fearless essays, each one unputdownable, are likely to reassure readers that whatever relationship they have or don't have with their own fathers is just right."
--Booklist

About the Author

Michele Filgate is the editor of What My Mother and I Don't Talk About and What My Father and I Don't Talk About. Her writing has appeared in Longreads, Poets & Writers, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, The Boston Globe, The Paris Review Daily, Tin House, Gulf Coast, Oprah Daily, and many other publications. She received her MFA in Fiction from NYU, where she was the recipient of the Stein Fellowship.