What They Never Told Us - by Gail Lukasik (Hardcover)

About the Book

"What they never told us tells the stories of ordinary people who made extraordinary, life-changing discoveries about their parentage and/ or race and ethnicity that fractured their identities. The book asks the big questions: Who are we? And what is family? Blending social history and personal narrative, each story delves into the devastating psychological trauma of uncovering a hidden family secret with all the twists and turns of a mystery novel from how the discovery was made; to why it was kept a secret; to the arduous, sometimes disappointing, quest to find the biological parent or parents. To fully understand the secrecy surrounding these family secrets, the book examines pre-WWII and post-WWII attitudes towards infertility, adoption, donor conception, race and racial passing, and unmarried pregnant woman."--Publisher description.

Book Synopsis

From acclaimed bestselling author of White Like Her: My Family's Story of Race and Racial Passing, comes a brand new collection of stories of people uncovering their past.

"A riveting page turner . . . This book will appeal to anyone interested in tales of family secrets." --Severance Magazine

"Masterful, inspiring, and fearless." --Kenyatta D. Berry, author of Family Tree Toolkit and host of PBS's Genealogy Roadshow

What They Never Told Us tells the stories of ordinary people who made extraordinary, life-changing discoveries about their parentage and/or race and ethnicity that fractured their identities. The book asks the big questions: Who are we? And what is family?

Blending social history and personal narratives, each story delves into the devastating psychological trauma of uncovering a hidden family secret with all the twists and turns of a mystery novel from how the discovery was made; to why it was kept secret; to the arduous, sometimes disappointing, quest to find the biological parent or parents. To fully understand the secrecy surrounding these family secrets, the book examines pre-WWII and post-WWII attitudes toward infertility, adoption, donor conception, race and racial passing, and unmarried pregnant women.

Prefacing these harrowing narratives is the author's own confusing and sometimes painful journey to redefine her racial identity under the spotlight of public opinion. Searingly raw and honest, What They Never Told Us tells the stories that were never meant to be heard.

Review Quotes

Praise for What They Never Told Us:

"A riveting page turner . . . I was propelled from story to story, each one more gobsmacking than the last. . . . This book will appeal to anyone interested in tales of family secrets. . . . 'The first step toward understanding the impact of family secrets is to give them a voice.' Lukasik does so with respect and care in this fascinating collection of interviews with adoptees, donor conceived people, and individuals who have uncovered previously hidden genetic histories." --Severance Magazine

"Gail Lukasik's writing is masterful, inspiring, and fearless. Her memoir, White Like Her, poignantly told her mother's story of passing for white and its effect on Gail and her family, while shining a light on America's history of racial discrimination. In her new book, What They Never Told Us, she explores the lives of ordinary people who made extraordinary life-changing discoveries about their parentage and/or race that shattered their identities. Once again, Gail uncovers family secrets that were meant to stay hidden." --Kenyatta D. Berry, author of Family Tree Toolkit and host of PBS's Genealogy Roadshow

"A remarkable book. In her ability to make people feel comfortable in sharing their stories, Gail Lukasik explores how individuals and their families deal with family secrets of race, ethnicity, and adoptions. Through these stories, Gail beautifully guides us, through her subject's feelings of pain, identity loss, trauma, and their journey toward self-reclamation. What They Never Told Us brings to the forefront that these stories are more common than not and the courage it takes to confront these secrets and embrace the truth." --Tim Russell, VP of Community Engagement and Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion at WTTW, PBS member station in Chicago

"High caliber writing enriches these powerful and poignant narratives, which unearth sealed records, reveal ghost fathers, and give meaning to lives shattered by secrets." --Judy Carmack Bross, Editor, Classic Chicago Magazine

"Enveils hidden truths about identity, race, and family heritage that resonate with anyone curious about their roots. I was captivated by how she skillfully intertwined her own story with those of others, adding a personal touch that made the exploration even more insightful. It's a book that stays with you, making you reflect on the complexities of your own identity long after you've turned the last page." --Tom Mason, Director, Redglass Pictures

Praise for Gail Lukasik's White Like Her

"Lukasik takes us inside her family story, revealing that her own mother chose to live as a white woman. Lukasik, bravely and eloquently, writes with a researcher's eye and a daughter's heart. In righting her own history, Lukasik graciously affords us the opportunity to right our own." --Goldie Taylor, editor-at-large of the Daily Beast
"Meticulously researched . . . Offers new insights into issues surrounding the complex history of racial passing in the United States . . . a narrative made compelling by her deeply felt emotional responses as she excavates her own heritage. This is a book which will elicit much discussion among diverse audiences, adding, as it does, to the too often elusive American tapestry." --Ronne Hartfield, author of Another Way Home: The Tangled Roots of Race in One Chicago Family

"Important in helping us understand America's complex racial history . . . Adds to the ongoing conversation about race and racial identity in America because it looks at the ramifications of institutionalized racialism and racial passing through one family's story." --Kenyatta D. Berry, Host of PBS's Genealogy Roadshow

"In White Like Her, Lukasik, with the persistence and canniness of the sleuths as the detective novelist she sometimes impersonates, explores how complicated race is in America." --Randy Fertel, author of The Gorilla Man and the Empress of Steak: A New Orleans Family Memoir

About the Author

Gail Lukasik is a freelance writer, editor, college lecturer, and the author of the bestselling book White Like Her: My Family's Story of Race and Racial Passing, which the Washington Post named "One of the Most Inspiring Stories of 2017." Gail has appeared on PBS's Genealogy Roadshow, BBC World News, and NBC's Megyn Kelly Today. She is also a contributor at the Washington Post and the author of several mystery novels featuring the character Leigh Girard.