I'm Not Okay and That's Okay - by Steff Du Bois (Paperback)

About the Book

For those days when you feel like you just can't take it anymore, this portable pick-me-up offers in-the-moment microskills--based in proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)--to help readers accept what they can't change, move past negative thoughts, calm the chaos of emotional overwhelm, and soothe themselves when life feels difficult.

Book Synopsis

For those days when you feel like you just can't take it anymore...

Everybody struggles. Whether you're breaking down in tears at the grocery store, on the verge of cussing out your toxic family member or coworker, screaming at cars in traffic, or feeling completely alone and friendless on a Saturday night--we've ALL been there. The struggle is REAL. And it's okay to NOT feel okay sometimes. Fortunately, there are simple ways to help you identify and improve your negative thoughts, calm the chaos of emotional overwhelm, and feel better quickly. This portable pick-me-up is just what you need.

I'm Not Okay and That's Okay offers in-the-moment microskills--little strategies for big change--based in proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and real-life experience. With this go-to guide, you'll learn to recognize unhelpful thinking patterns; cope with feelings of sadness, anger, worry, fear, and frustration; and improve your relationships. Most importantly, you'll uncover the root cause of why you feel the way you do, what's making you feel worse, and how you can deal with these intense feelings in healthier ways.

We live in an era of extreme emotions. The world is rapidly changing and becoming more and more uncertain. But you can stay grounded--even when everything around you is spiraling out of control.

You've got this. And this fun, heartfelt guide has your back.

Review Quotes

"I'm Not Okay and That's Okay is an incredible tool for LGBTQIA+ people and others to develop skills to help them deal and cope with the numerous and nuanced challenges that they encounter. With self-love and humor at its core, it's an approachable source for helping manage one's mental health and wellness."
--Shea Couleé, world-renowned drag queen, actor, musician, designer, activist, and model residing in Chicago, IL--Shea Couleé

"I sped through Steff Du Bois's I'm Not Okay and That's Okay, then went back and read it again to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Du Bois, with great empathy and deep clinical knowledge, normalizes not being okay, then gives digestible, clear, and easy-to-follow instructions on how to healthily respond to life's stressors. Du Bois's coping mechanisms and gentle guidance were revelatory."
--Anton DiSclafani, professor of English at Auburn University, and author of The After Party--Anton DiSclafani

"Many of us are simply not OK. Steff Du Bois's book is refreshing and practical; engagingly written, normalizing the complexity of feelings and struggles that seem part of everyday life. Each chapter is grounded in theory-driven solutions, making the book a resource for those wise enough to read it."
--Robert Garofalo, MD, MPH, professor of pediatrics at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, and chief of the Division of Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, IL--Robert Garofalo, MD, MPH

"Steff Du Bois gives us a witty, funny, honest, and wildly helpful book of therapeutic gems that will fuel self-reflection, growth, compassion, and better mental health. Their approach is the best possible fusion of a well-trained therapist, a wise mentor, and a friend you text at midnight. We will all be better off spending some time with this glorious and insightful book."
--Breanne Fahs, author of Burn It Down! and Women, Sex, and Madness--Breanne Fahs

"Steff Du Bois has done an excellent job making cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) simple and relatable for everyday people struggling with real-life problems. Their book has something for everyone. Du Bois has created one short chapter for each week of the year, a regular bite-sized nugget of wisdom and guidance to help people feel a little more okay when they are not okay, managing an imperfect life in a flawed universe."
--Monnica T. Williams, board-certified clinical psychologist, professor, and Canada Research Chair in Mental Health Disparities at the University of Ottawa--Monnica T. Williams

"Steff Du Bois is a one-of-a-kind personality that has created a one-of-a-kind healing tool. Yet, it's relatable to everyone! Du Bois breaks down the basics of psychology in a way that is easy to understand, and then shares practical exercises that give you a straightforward plan on how to take charge of your own healing journey. He makes therapy accessible to everyone. What a gift!"
--Miss Angelina, award-winning writer, director, actress, and recording artist from Puerto Rico, selected for the National Hispanic Media Coalition Latinx Showcase--Miss Angelina

"Steff Du Bois is the only person I know who could write such a smart, practical, enjoyable book about managing life's struggles. The science behind his recommendations is robust, and he makes it so clear and relatable that I think it's one of the few self-help books you cannot read without changing.... A gem of a book."
--Gloria Balague, president of APA Division 47 (Sport and Exercise Psychology) in 2012; and former sports psychologist for the US Track and Field Olympic Team, the US Gymnastics Olympic Team, and the Chicago Bears--Gloria Balague

"This book is for anyone eager to feel better. Written with great heart, intelligence, and wisdom, I'm Not Okay and That's Okay is a wonderfully accessible synthesis of our common struggles with a clear guide for what to do about them. Skills-based and grounded in CBT, it provides a road map, cleverly packaged in small, manageable steps for change that will bring relief, hope, and inspiration."
--Karen Skerrett, PhD, psychologist, consultant, former clinical associate professor, staff at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and author of Growing Married--Karen Skerrett, PhD

About the Author

Steff Du Bois, PhD, (he/they) is a clinician with their own private practice, and associate professor of psychology at the Illinois Institute of Technology (IIT). They have published over forty peer-reviewed manuscripts, presented research at numerous national and international conferences, and received multiple research grants to fund their work. After earning their doctorate from the University of Illinois at Chicago, they now lead the Du Bois Health Psychology Laboratory. There, they mentor graduate and undergraduate psychology students, and conduct health psychology research using community-based participatory research approaches to examine health behaviors, health equity, and health in romantic relationships.