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It's Not You - by Ramani Durvasula (Hardcover)

It's Not You - by  Ramani Durvasula (Hardcover) - 1 of 1
$19.48 sale price when purchased online
$29.00 list price
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About this item

Highlights

  • INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER It's not always easy to tell when you're dealing with a narcissistic person.
  • About the Author: Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting.
  • 368 Pages
  • Self Improvement, Personal Growth

Description



About the Book



"Healing and thriving after or even during a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but it is possible. It's Not You shows that the first step is to stop trying to change the narcissistic person, stop blaming yourself, and start giving yourself permission to foster your autonomy and sense of self outside of this relationship"--



Book Synopsis



INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism

AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER

It's not always easy to tell when you're dealing with a narcissistic person. One day they draw you in with their charm and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-esteem, and leave you wondering, What should I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani explains in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing.

Just as a tiger can't change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease them. The first step toward healing from their toxic influence--and to protect yourself from future harm--is to accept that you are not to blame for their behavior.

Drawing on more than two decades of studying the landscape of narcissism and working with survivors, Dr. Ramani explores how narcissists hijack our well-being and offers a healing path forward. Unpacking the oft-misunderstood personality, she reveals the telltale behavioral patterns that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissist. Along the way, you'll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep you stuck in the cycle, grieve the loss of these painful relationships, create and maintain realistic boundaries, discern unhelpful behaviors from narcissistic behaviors, and recover your sense of self after constant invalidation.

Thriving after, or even during, a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but It's Not You shows you it is possible. Dr. Ramani invites you to stop blaming yourself and trying to change the narcissistic person, and to start giving yourself permission to let go of their hold on you and finally embrace your true self.



Review Quotes




"A must read. Dr. Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship. With her expert advice based on decades of research and clinical experience, she makes the impossible seem possible."
-Mel Robbins, bestselling author of The High Five Habit and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast

"Dr. Ramani has written the book on narcissism for our times, not simply because it upends everything we thought we knew about this personality, but because it gives real people a sense of hope...that they can heal, that they can move forward from these relationships, that it's not you." -Maria Shriver

"In writing It's Not You, Dr. Durvasula directly addresses victims of narcissistic abuse with targeted advice developed through years of clinical experience and research. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling in a relationship with a narcissist. Once you realize it's not you who is the problem, you can become the solution."
-W. Keith Campbell, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Georgia and author of The Narcissism Epidemic

"It's Not You tackles a subject matter so wildly misunderstood and offers a path forward for those who have been, or currently are in narcissistic relationships. With deep compassion, Dr. Ramani masterfully helps the reader shift from self-blame to seeing the picture clearly. What a profound gift it is to those who will see their experience written about in this book and feel a little less alone."
-Vienna Pharaon, bestselling author of The Origins of You and host of the This Keeps Happening podcast

"Whether you are looking to avoid damaging relationships, leave one, or finally move on from one, Dr. Ramani has produced a work that is utterly essential for understanding the patterns we were never built to see coming. By lifting the veil on these people, she not only teaches us about them, but how to stop shaming ourselves for who we had to become to survive them. It's Not You is not just life-saving, but life-restoring. More than a way out, it's a way back, to yourself."
-Matthew Hussey, host of the Love Life with Matthew Hussey podcast

"Emotionally abusive relationships take away our voice and our power, and Dr. Ramani gives us the tools and teaches all of us how to take ourselves back and feel whole again."
-Debra Newell, author of Surviving Dirty John

"A compassionate roadmap and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships...that helps...them understand how to heal and thrive during and after these challenging relationships."
-Jay Shetty, bestselling author of Think Like A Monk and host of the On Purpose Podcast

"What sets Dr. Ramani apart is her valuable emphasis on healing from the damaging effects of a narcissist's destructive behavior. With a direct and compassionate approach, she reminds us that it is possible to heal. As always, Dr. Ramani gives comfort and validation to the 'lions'. It's Not You is a gift."
-Jenifer Faison, host of the Betrayal podcast

"Dr. Ramani is one of the most respected experts on healing and narcissism. In this important book, I'm grateful she includes the often unseen world of grief and narcissism. She gives deep insights and sound advice on the experience of grief. It's Not You is a must read."
-David Kessler, author of Finding Meaning

"It's Not You is, simply put, brilliant. In straightforward, clear language, Dr. Ramani has created a framework for deeply understanding the complexities of, and healing from, this most insidious form of abuse. She challenges misconceptions and glaring gaps in knowledge of current paradigms in traditional psychology and with compassion and refreshing candor, guides us through hell--and back to our true selves."
-Mark Vicente, NXIVM whistleblower and director of Empathy Not Included



About the Author



Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She discusses narcissism on her popular YouTube channel, on social media as @DoctorRamani, her popular online program on healing from narcissistic abuse, and as the host of the podcast Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani. This is her fourth book.
Dimensions (Overall): 8.55 Inches (H) x 5.86 Inches (W) x 1.05 Inches (D)
Weight: 1.02
Suggested Age: 22 Years and Up
Sub-Genre: Personal Growth
Genre: Self Improvement
Number of Pages: 368
Publisher: Open Field
Format: Hardcover
Author: Ramani Durvasula
Theme: Self-Esteem
Language: English
Street Date: February 19, 2024
TCIN: 89186606
UPC: 9780593492628
Item Number (DPCI): 059-01-2224
Origin: Made in the USA
If the item details above aren’t accurate or complete, we want to know about it.

Shipping details

Estimated ship dimensions: 1.05 inches length x 5.86 inches width x 8.55 inches height
Estimated ship weight: 1.02 pounds
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Related Categories

4.1 out of 5 stars with 15 reviews
70% would recommend
10 recommendations

Finally Turned the Lights On

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
redcarded - 1 year ago, Verified purchaser
I’ve been watching Dr Ramani’s videos on youtube for a couple of years now. The knowledge she’s shared has helped me have so much more peace in my life. This book feels like a more in depth, detailed written version of the the videos. Each chapter walks you through healing from difficult relationships. Definitely one of those you know you’ll go back to.
9 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

Much needed!

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
A Survivor - 1 year ago, Verified purchaser
Dr. Ramani is amazing. I cannot thank her enough for the work she does! She is a blessing!
4 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

Exactly what is needed to start healing....

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
this book is about you - 1 year ago, Verified purchaser
Dr. Ramani's book is like years of therapy for a fraction of the price. There is nothing like it out there and is so needed in this world. If you have any type of relationship that leaves you confused and invalidated, this is the book. it gives you the framework to see things from your perspective, when you may not even know what that is anymore. Buy this Book, it is so worth it!
7 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

Not Trustworthy

1 out of 5 stars
Thumbs down graphic, would not recommend
HMoog - 1 year ago
My local store already had a copy in stock. She uses the book loosely and non-clinically—she even says that she’s using Narcissism more as an adjective (ex. Rude person, sweet person, narcissistic person). She’s not necessarily talking about NPD. A lot of what she writes about in this book contradicts what she does herself. So why follow her advice if she doesn’t follow it herself?
3 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

A MUST Read!!!

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
NYGiants72 - 1 year ago, Verified purchaser
Everyone needs to read Dr Ramani’s new book! Not only does she brilliantly lay out the patterns of narcissism, but she provides the road map on how to take yourself back and begin to heal even after a lifetime of invalidating relationships. I’m so grateful for her wisdom and the courage it takes to bring this topic into the light ❤️
11 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

No thanks

1 out of 5 stars
Thumbs down graphic, would not recommend
- 1 year ago
There are too many contradictions of what is written for the reader to take life lessons from. Would not recommend.
4 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

It’s not thee book

1 out of 5 stars
Thumbs down graphic, would not recommend
SheLovesToRead - 1 year ago
After reading this, Why take advice from her if she's not following this advice in her personal life? Doesn't sound helpful to me then. I'll look somewhere else.
4 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

Life changer!

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
Amy - 1 year ago
This author is very down to earth, and knows her stuff! Definitely worth a read.
5 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

Awesome

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
Keeks - 1 year ago, Verified purchaser
Best work I have ever read on the subject! Dr. Ramini has stated countless times that not everyone who does something harmful is a narcissist. However, if you/other people engage in multiple harmful behaviors that are consistently displayed, you/they are a narcissist, and Dr. Ramini teaches us how to identify these people and heal from their duplicity.
6 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

Excellent Book

5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
Ab - 1 year ago, Verified purchaser
Excellent reading that will reveal the truth for so many people. Well researched, sensitive, and honest from an author who has been there.
8 guests found this review helpful. Did you?

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